Rikkai Crazy
by Feyren
Summary: Akaya gives a demonstration of RikkaiDai spirit. Whether it's spirit or insanity is debatable.


Because I called someone a cool muffin and I am still in shock. Prince of Tennis is doing strange things to my brain.

(This Disney reference doesn't count, haha. It's way too obvious. And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, check out the latest chapter of Russian Roulette (chapter 12). There's a challenge going on.)

This has got to be the most random thing I've written, like, ever.

* * *

Akaya came to math class, giggling. The teacher was worried, but didn't say anything for fear of having her head bitten off.

Akaya went to lunch, deliriously happy. Yagyuu and Sanada, both of whom had the same lunch period as him, refrained from commenting—Sanada because he wanted to preserve his sanity, and Yagyuu because—well, with Niou as a partner, you just kind of learned not to touch anything that may or may not explode in your face.

Akaya met up with Jackal on his way to afternoon tennis practice, who took one look at Akaya's drunken expression and picked up his pace a little.

Akaya sped up, too.

Jackal walked a little faster.

So did Akaya.

Jackal jogged lightly.

Akaya giggled and kept pace.

(That giggle was immensely disturbing.)

Jackal began full-out sprinting. Akaya gave a little squeal of happiness and began chasing after him.

And next thing the tennis team knew, Jackal was running in circles, panicked, with Akaya fast in pursuit. His hair was blown back by the wind and his teeth were bared in an almost feral grin, still giggling. It was vaguely unsettling.

The regulars—excluding Sanada and Yukimura, who'd yet to arrive—gaped.

"Did you know that aliens breed mosquitoes?" Akaya asked suddenly.

". . . what?"

"Aliens breed mosquitoes," he repeated firmly. "They're taking over world. That green glow in the escalator? Aliens. They're breeding mosquitoes and they're going to itch you to death and they'll take over the world with the help of the storks but I'll be okay because I have a special potion that'll keep me safe and aliens like me anyway."

". . . _what?"_ Marui reiterated. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"What's your special potion?" Jackal asked, indulging him. "Anti-mosquitoes-taking-over-the-world-cream?"

"Anti-itch cream," Akaya replied, cackling. He bent over, laughing, tearing up. He stopped, took a deep breath, then started laughing again.

Niou stared for a moment, then took off a sneaker, holding it high above his head.

Yagyuu put a hand on Niou's shoulder in warning. "Niou-kun," he began.

Too little too late. Niou tossed the sneaker at Akaya's head, who toppled over backwards and fell onto his back, still giggling. He fumbled for the dirty sneaker, and gave it a hug.

"What drug are _you _on?" Niou deadpanned.

The younger boy giggled again. "Meticulous planning, tenacity spanning, decades of denial is simply why I'll be king undisputed, respected, saluted, and seen for the wonder I am! Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared. Be prepared!" Akaya sang, spreading out his arms.

Yanagi raised one eyebrow. "He's better at singing when he's delirious," he noted calmly. "This could be useful."

". . . how?" Jackal asked blankly.

Akaya jumped up, and pulled off both of his shoes. He cradled his pair along with Niou's sneaker in his arms for a few moments, sang a lullaby, and rocked the sneakers gently. The regulars watched, unsure of his sanity.

Then the second-year took the sneakers and began tossing them at the regulars watching.

He missed completely. One hit the fence, another ended up in a tree, and the last wound up hitting some first year's face.

"His aim and accuracy deteriorates," Yanagi continued.

"I couldn't tell," Marui replied, snorting. "What the hell is he on?"

Akaya sat back down and rocked back and forth. He looked up at them with wide, green eyes. "I'm high," he said matter-of-factly.

"No shit," Marui told him. "What are you _on_?"

"PoTT," he told him. "Somebody needs to cut off my PoTT supply 'cause I'm hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh—" He broke off and started singing some song from The Lion King again. "Nants ingonyama bagithi baba; sithi uhm ingonyama! Nants ingonyama bagithi baba; sithi uhhmm ingonyama, ingonyama . . ."

". . . the hell?" Marui demanded.

Yagyuu looked surprised. "My, Kirihara. I didn't think you knew how to speak Zulu."

Niou chuckled. "He doesn't. That's a verse from The Circle of Life."

"Why in the world is he on _drugs?_" Jackal demanded.

"I'm not on drugs," Akaya protested. "I'm on _PoTT._"

Jackal gave him a funny look.

"Prince of Table Tennis," he explained, giggling again. He dropped to all fours and crawled to the regulars, who took hesitant steps backward for fear of being contaminated. He reached for Niou's other sneaker. "PoTT."

"Isn't that a manga?" Niou asked, giving him a look. He shook his leg a little and shooed Akaya away. "Go take Marui's shoes."

Akaya nodded and crawled obediently to Marui's feet instead. Marui yelped and kicked off both his sneakers as quickly as possible. "Take them, get away, get away!"

"How do you get high from a manga?" Jackal asked curiously.

Yagyuu shook his head knowingly. "It can be done," he said wisely. "Niou has achieved this state many, many times."

"From _manga_?"

"And oranges," he corrected. "And hair dye, and—"

"Not to this extent, surely," Jackal said disbelievingly, gesturing to Akaya, who was juggling Marui's sneakers.

Niou chuckled. "Actually, he looks kind of like Marui on a sugar high."

"Hey! I'm not that crazy!"

"Ha, that's a matter of opinion."

"You—!"

"Hey, get off—!"

"The _fu—_!"

"Dude, your rattail is in my _mouth_—"

Jackal and Yagyuu gave each other a long-suffering look and began to untangle Niou and Marui from each other.

"Aren't you the least bit worried that Akaya is high?" Jackal asked, pulling Marui's arm.

Yagyuu had a firm grip on both of Niou's shoulders. "I suppose we should wait and see what Yukimura will do about it," he decided. "We can hardly keep track of a sane Akaya, let alone Akaya on a high."

"I still don't see how he got high from manga."

Akaya had tied the two sneakers together by the shoelaces and started using it as a microphone. "I juuuuuust can't waaaaait to be kiiiiiiiiing!"

"_What _is going on here?"

Everything stopped.

Yukimura took one look at the chaotic scene and folded his arms. Niou and Marui were still a tangled mess on the floor, trying to punch each other's faces in, and Jackal and Yagyuu had somehow been added to the fray while trying to pull them apart. Yanagi had a vaguely amused look on his face and greeted Sanada with a half-wave. "You should probably leave," Yanagi said. "This won't be good for your sanity."

Sanada took one look at Akaya, who was lying on his back, giggling and cuddling with a pair of sneakers, and left.

"I can explain," Marui began. "Akaya's—"

"Be prepaaaaaared," Akaya sang. "Aliens are taking over the world with their mosquito counterparts and _you don't have anti-itch cream_!"

Yukimura stared at him for a moment, then cracked a smile. "Not without the storks, they're not," he corrected. "The mosquitoes are hiding in the storks' feathers, with the help of the aliens, who are secretly breeding mosquitoes in the escalators. It's an easy mistake to make." He turned to the (relatively sane) regulars. "Is he high on PoTT?" he asked knowingly.

The regulars stared in disbelief. "How'd you . . . ?"

"Oh, I just can't wait to be king! Everybody look left, everybody look right! Everywhere you look I'm standing in the limelight!" Akaya continued, still giggling.

Marui looked like he was waiting for Yukimura to explode and send them all running laps.

Instead, Yukimura chided gently, "It's _spotlight, _not limelight. Let every creature go for broke and sing! Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing; it's gonna be King Simba's finest fling!" he harmonized.

Akaya's eyes lit up, and the two of them chorused, "I just can't wait to be king!"

The regulars continued to gape, before Niou snorted. "I should've known," he said knowingly. "The brat's not high. This is just his belated dose of Rikkai Crazy."

* * *

. . . What? (No, I have no idea what just happened, either.)


End file.
